Ha! Arnold Schwarzenegger for the voice of Grimlock.

HA!

I don't normally check the Daily Deviations anyway, but I must say that today's set (June 15, 2009) of DDs are the most disappointing, retarded selection yet.

I know that dA is one huge social expirament of the lowest-common-denominator sludge on the interweb, but COME ON PEOPLE.

This is the cheapest webpage hosting I've ever seen that also doesn't seem too sketchy.
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Just thought you people out there might want to know. I think I'm going to switch when my fatcow account expires.

Speaking of that, I gave my online portfolio an overhaul (again)...

I made my gender ambiguous on my webpage.
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Two clients have backed off and broken off their deals with me in the past month, and I blame it on being a woman. I always thought my work looked masculine, but since I'm obviously feminine, when clients see my work, they get confused and run. (And yes, art work is traditionally critiqued in such an unfair, bipartisan way. Just look at the abstract expressionists. And why do you think art from the feminist movement all looks the same?) JK Rowling feared the same thing, and chose the same route with her books. We all know how well that one worked out.

So I made it harder to guess if I'm a guy or girl from my webpage.

But now I'm having second thoughts. So could someone out there open up a discussion with me? Everyone in the real just tells me that my work looks like "my" work, which doesn't help me at all.

Would you have expected something different if you'd known right away that JK Rowling was a woman?

Do you think my work looks masculine or feminine? Do you look at it differently when you know it's by "Emily" and not just "M", which could stand for anything, or even "Srom"?

This isn't going to change the work I make, but some solid, non-middle-of-the-road opinions would put my mind at ease. I keep wondering what it is about my work - and me in general, really - that puts people off. I wish I could have some aspect to work on, instead of everybody saying that I'm fine, which translates to "there's nothing you could possibly work on. You're just going to be a failure."

John Hodgman is going to be in Boston tomorrow. Of course, I have to work, so I don't get to say hello. I can't plan for shit.

In fact, I've recently realized that I can't do anything. I can't color or even draw for shit (and I don't care what the fuck you guys say about that. I know what's true). I can't write for shit. I can't keep up contacts for shit. I can't even do my crappy retail job for shit, let alone get something better. And I never do anything worthwhile. Nobody cares about the crap that I do, because my stuff's worthless and I'm a worthless waste of space. And I have crappy ideas that no one relates to, and no matter how many Joseph Campbell books I read it's not going to change the fact that no one can relate to a Korean-American from a half Jewish family that broke over ten years ago. I'm embarrassed that I've been in denial about it for so long. It's no wonder that he doesn't love me. I'm just embarrassed about my existence in general.

I guess thinking all this makes me a bonafide adult now.

In other news, I knit a hat today, but that doesn't change anything.

I feel better. I guess throwing my cards on the table and letting the internet know that emo is not invincible is not entirely bad. Now you guys know that I know ths, and I know that you guys know that I know. But I still want to see John Hodgman.

They're feeding these suckers to North Koreans:
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